Saturday, January 3, 2009

2008 Darwin Awards

The always entertaining Darwin Awards of 2008 have been finalized. Ranked by number of votes, the winners (or rather, losers) "commemorate those who improve our gene pool, by removing themselves from it". 

My personal favorite is Merry Pranksters: The telephone company was replacing above-ground telephone lines with buried lines. In one sparsely populated farming area, if lines crossed a country road they would dig a trench halfway across, so rural traffic could continue through. Then they would fill in the trench, and dig a trench on the other side.

One morning, local farmers called the sheriff to report a smashed-up pickup. Inside were two ranch hands who were last seen the previous night, heading home after last call. You see...

On their way to the bars, the men had decided to play a prank. They stopped their pickup, and moved the flashing warning signs from the trenched side to the good side of the country road. Crime scene analysis later confirmed that they were the culprits who moved the flashing stands. Investigations also revealed that at the time of the accident, they were driving at an excessive speed with an impressive amount of alcohol in their systems.

No crime scene analysis is capable of determining whether the ranch hands forgot their prank, or chose to see what would happen if they hit that trench at a high rate of speed in the middle of the night.

No good prank goes unpunished.

Stories Ranked by Vote

The Balloon Priest 8.9 (13703 votes)

DA:Run! No, Run Away! 7.8 (4618 votes)

Thou Shalt Not Steel 7.7 (5398 votes)

Merry Pranksters 7.7 (3732 votes)

Not a Shred of Sense 7.7 (5477 votes)

Boner! 7.7 (6843 votes)

Wascally Wabbit 7.7 (5039 votes)

Pining Away 7.7 (6961 votes)

Clotheslined! 7.6 (3361 votes)

Chemistry Went To Her Head 7.6 (5272 votes)

Pierced! 7.6 (5803 votes)

On the Piste 7.6 (2655 votes)

Going to Seed 7.4 (2662 votes)

Slippery When Wet 7.1 (2068 votes)

A Screw Loose 7.1 (3316 votes)

Into the Abyss 6.6 (2978 votes)

Shopping Cart Crash 6.5 (2467 votes)

An Illuminating Story 6.4 (3073 votes)

Early Retirement Plan 6.4 (2113 votes)

Organ Donors 5.7 (3334 votes)

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